I’ve heard people talk about being on the pink cloud.  I’ve heard other non AA friends talk about these moments of blissful enlightenment being on the peak of the mountain.  I’m feeling it this morning.  The past two days – TWO DAYS have been blissful, in their own happy measure of normal.  Not amazing, just *normal* but when normal is GOOD instead of  misery…. that becomes bliss!

I’ve always had gigantic mood swings, and I recognize that this  might be a very temporary fleeting stage of happiness…. I assume that between the very high moments and the very low moments, things eventually will even out.

Though I have known God and felt his love for a few years now, I haven’t had methods or mechanisms to deal with LIFE.  God is good always, and also necessary- are those ways of dealing with the ups and downs of life.  Knowing God is one thing, but allowing God to shine in me always- not just when it is convenient or easy– is another.  I feel like I am really learning how to let Him shine in all moments.  The hard ones, the good ones, I’m learning how to be with him in all of life, how to “apply” my love for him in little things and good things and bad things.

I’ve not been a person who relies on Him only when times are hard.  I might actually be the opposite.  I have praised Him wholly and fully when things are GOOD.  And when things are hard and bad, he feels more distant and I don’t necessarily feel drawn to ask Him for help.  I kind of accept the sadness and try to feel it and roll with it.

I’m not sure what is different these past few days.

One thing I am getting and understanding though is that helping others is key.  That is a constant throughout the big book and by helping others so much the past few days (L & H) … the way  in which I pray has changed, the way in which I am consciously LOOKING for someone to help!  I don’t get out much, but when I do, I want to uplift someone in a small way or a slightly bigger way.  Life is good these past few days.  I’m praying that God help me hang onto that goodness, continue to see Him in all the little nooks of life.

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