Something awesome that I heard today:

It’s not my job to change people’s hearts, only God can do that.  My job is just to love them where they are.

It’s so beautiful to me because as I relax a little into this life, I am realizing that I’m not as important as I thought I was – in the best possible way.  I’m not as needed in every bit of every decision, action, event, whatever in other people’s lives.  This is revolutionary.  You know what else?  People tell me things that I hear and empathize with, and then LET GO of.  I let go of people’s stories and secrets and problems and things.  Because… they’re not mine to hold on to!

Most mentally healthy, emotionally stable people probably know this as a super obvious thing, but I’m neither of those, and these things are glorious news to me.  My dear friends, both old and new, tell me so much.  And while they are important things, I just don’t retain them.  I used to call my inability to recall important things a flaw, but in this case, I look at it as a benefit.

I can’t look at people and judge them based on whatever character flaws I see in them.  I just can’t.  If the flaws are so ginormous that I can’t deal with them, then I detach from that person and move on.  But I can not stick around and try to judge or worry or change them.  I don’t have enough energy for that, and it’s not my role.  If someone does or has something that causes them to sin, I can’t judge that!  I sin every day!  I’m about to go get more tattoos, and I’m not quite sold on whether they should be considered a sin or not… but I certainly sin in gluttony every day of my life.  I lose my temper and lose my patience and have an impure heart.  To name a few.  I absolutely do not and will not judge those who sin differently.  Nothing I say is ever going to convince someone out of their character flaws.  Just like no one is going to get me to vote Democrat.  My only job in this world and with the relationships I have, is to love people.  If they are not toxic to me, to love them, to accept them, to lift them up, to pray for them, to pray for goodness.

It’s nice to not have the burden of changing people.

A lady tonight in a meeting said that she was so worried about telling something to someone.  Finally, she did, and it was fine, but she still worried about being judged, maybe the story being retold, etc.  A few years later, she ran into the person to whom she had told this big thing.  She hadn’t seen her in a long while.  The lady had forgotten her name!  What a great story about getting over ourselves.

J always tells me in a half joking, half serious way: “get over yourself.”  She tells me this when I am too worried about upsetting others…. it is true.  We all need to get over ourselves.  Our super crazy wild whatever stories are not going to blow anyone’s mind.  If they do, it’s their problem, not ours.  Who cares if they judge us, and who has time to judge anyone really?

So much goodness today and yesterday.

HORRIBLE eating, binge eating problems,  but I can’t even focus on those right now, I’m just feeling the goodness God has given me today.

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