I had many helpers from MMSL, from which I am now banned… because I am honest, and I’m okay with that… I know a few of those friends read here from time to time.  My biggest most amazing helper was a phone friend from my old home town, but two others- “Willie” & “Serenity.”  These two were Christians, and encouraged me to turn to God. 

I shunned that idea, and in fact, took everything they said through the lens of “Well, this is coming from someone who believes in **God**, they mean well and have great advice/experience though, so I appreciate that very much…”

In fact, as an anti-God, God-hater, I devalued anything anyone Christian or spiritual in any way ever told me.  I turned it into a slightly um, dumbed down version of anything they could have said.  It’s hard to explain how an atheist feels towards Christians who are otherwise amazing people.

To these two people, if you ever read this, please take comfort in knowing we HAVE incredibly accepted Jesus.  We have accepted God and give thanks to him over and over again every day.  HE is the reason we are where we are, with little seeds planted from the two of you.  Tiny little seeds, but every tiny seed matters in His plan.

Thank you for putting those little seeds into my brain and I’m sorry, so sorry, for not understanding then.  I understand now.  And I have repented for the multitude of ways in which I disrespected all believers- not just you but ALL believers (!) for all 33 years of my life.  I now know, I now value what you offered me, even more.  God’s blessings to you both, to all of us on the tumultuous path of life.

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