It is move day. Last week vacation up north was good but overshadowed no the move, at least for me. We had so many “little” things… things like me feeling hurt that he didn’t pounce on me after wearing my bikini to the beach… not noticing I did fancy hair/makeup.  I wonder if I’m unrealistic. Every time, at least every time it was a big enough deal to me- I shared my feelings and every time he turned things around and made it good… There was the time I was hurt that he did not push hardeardor sex when I acted like I “didn’t feel like it”… Stupid stuff. I don’t want to test him like that yet it happens…

He has been so open and honest and really being more social, engaged, and communicative with me. Today we move. Start to live more authentically, simply, easier. Less to keep up with, more to just enjoy.

Sometimes I wonder about this crazy, difficult, emotional journey we are on together. I am sometimes almost thankful for what it had given me, what I have learned, what I see, where I am going. I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone, yet here I am- feeling good about myself more than I ever did before. Things aren’t perfect and may never be, yet I feel more whole, more put together. less resentful, less angry at the world, more just… Fine.

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