I am a magnet for women who are hurting and confused.

It must be coming out of my pores, some scent that other women can pick up on.  Another friend came to me with her marriage problems.  It is probably simply because now they all know I’ve been on the brink of divorce, that they can relate.  But THIS friend did not offer a pleasant story, one of hope at all- it was the opposite.

She confided in me about her SEXLESS marriage and how she simply doesn’t care enough to change it.  How her husband often references the lack of sex, and still compliments her, builds her up, is kind and loving, yet… she simply “doesn’t want” to make their relationship more complicated or more WORK, and bring sex into it.

It was so sad.  She said that she knows he deserves it but she simply can’t make him a priority.  She chooses not to, consciously.  She doesn’t like it when they kiss and hug, she doesn’t like to be touched by him at all- it is all just sad to me.  And hurtful, because her disrespectful, unloving attitude is that of my husbands (1.0) as well- it made me hurt.

When my husband returned the following day from overnight camp I was physically repulsed by him unexpectedly when I laid eyes on him.  I could not kiss him, I had to turn away and not even look at him.  It all hit me and I cried- it brought it all back, hearing about how she JUST.DOESN’T.CARE. … it brought it all back, and even though he is loving and genuine and making great progress- it hurt all over again.

All was recovered later that night but it was hard.

FWIW, I did not care to share with her the details of our situation like I did with the other woman on the gymnasium floor- I did not feel it, I felt defensive and protective of my story and my hurt, because she was in the mood of defending her own cruelty.