I don’t know if he can or will ever overcome his immaturity.  His childish stubbornness which he uses to self sabotage.

I apply this to all things religious/spiritual, his refusal to fully accept or acknowledge what his mom/parents did to him, how the sexual marketplace really works, how he has hurt me, how he has destroyed his family, how he has DESTROYED HIMSELF, his lack of shame and embarrassment at his own disturbing actions, his lack of genuine remorse, his belief that his childhood acts of bullying and drug pushing are no big deal and laughs them off.  He is not a good person.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again with more oomph.  People are generally mostly good or mostly bad.  They can be mostly good with a little tendency to making bad choices, or mostly bad, low/no moral people who can fake a “good person” sometimes.  But everyone leans one way or the other.

I am mostly good.

He is mostly bad.

It’s who we are, as a person, an individual.  Deeply embedded in our soul and unable to change.  We each are who we are.  Everyone is.  I won’t be (and am not) interested on any level in being with anyone severely lacking morals, values and a mature sense of right and wrong.

Him doing the dishes and laundry and cleaning my car and tending the lawn are lovely.  Great.  But a man who can speak to fucking prostitutes while denying his loving wife intimacy to any degree- not worth a fucking breath.  A man who passive aggressively intentionally hurts me, chooses a tv show over me, chooses to watch tv while we are separated despite having many more important things to do for himself, a man who can’t enjoy my body- who physically can not bring himself to speak to the beauty of my breasts?  A man who acts aloof when I tell him I’ve gone somewhere he wants me not to go?  Who doesn’t look up when I return from an undisclosed location?  I have no time for that.  I’ll eventually be happier without the pathetic weight of him in my life, even if I am physically alone, I will be free from his hurtful ways. Good to be rid of garbage.

 

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