We went to myrtle beach, all 6 of us.  Together.  A family.

It was wonderful and glorious and happy and fun filled.

And painful.

The happier I feel and the more I feel love, the stronger the pangs of hurt and distrust and pain.

Every billboard for strip clubs hurt so badly.  Every time he wrapped his arms around me (which was a ton), was initially a smile and warmth and then was hurt and pain.  His love hurts me, even though I love it.