In one of the daily “where I’m at” emails my husband wrote this:

I am a mess of details and tasks in my head. I am stressing about the trip next week. I am worried how it will work and how we will do what and when. I then think – what if I wasn’t going? You would wake up in the morning, take 40 minutes or so to pack with no list and just go. You would have fun, you would be together, you wouldn’t be stressed. If you forgot something, you would roll with it. I would be making a list a week before, setting things out ahead, double checking the pile versus the list, packing, talking, planning….all the things that drain the fun out of it, but in my head it is in preparation of having fun. This all comes back to relax. There is nothing we could forget that would ruin the trip. There is nothing we could not do prior that would stop us from having fun or being connected. I would probably be the only thing that could bring “unfun” to the trip.

So here is what I am going to do – no lists. No planning. This is going to be hard. You are a capable person, you have got this. Tell me the day/time to show up and I will bring what I need for the trip. I will drive your car, and you will tell me where to go. I wont map it out, I wont figure out a path ahead of time or a schedule. I will be in the moment – I will be with the family on this adventure. I will love it, I will not be a pain in the ass, and I will try to use cruise control to not make you car sick. Tell me what if anything else you need from me on this trip and I will do it, otherwise I wont.

He is so right.  He really is.

I will make zero lists.  I would pack one person at a time, spending 2-5 minutes selecting things to bring.

I will have one backpack for each person.

The pack and play for the baby.

One food bag.  A bottle.

My bathroom and girl/mom stuff bag.

Throw a beach towel or three in, a few buckets for playing on the beach, and boom.  Drive.

Crap will be piled in at our feets in exchange for being able to see out the back window.  It will be so obnoxious to have to climb over all the backpacks.  Since I’ll have a passenger in front now, he too will have crap at his feet.  He will have to smile and exhale and roll with it.

No map.  We will punch in the destination 5 states away, 16 hours away, and just go.

No hotel reservations for halfway points.  No figuring out what landmarks we want to stop at.

No planning where we’ll stop and when.  We will simply get in the car and start driving.

I will print nothing ahead of time except the resort reservation.  Which I may or may not lose in all the ruckus of the car anyways.

The only thing I will plan is to have a neighbor come in and water my plants.  7 days is  a long time to go with no water

Details just don’t matter to me.  They never have.  I just want to go, live, breathe the air, sing loud songs, rock out, do my car workout, work as a team to help take care of the baby in the car (read: kids will be doing everything for him while I drive)… but the thing is, no one will hate it.  No one will complain.  Somehow, they will LIKE it.  Kids like a sense of responsibility and helping the family.

It won’t be without yelling.  It won’t be without forcing everyone to “stop talking! Look out your window and shut your mouth!”  But that happens on a 20 minute trip.  It will be a glorious experience.  One that they’ll remember.

I can’t decide if I want to deal with bringing my big camera.  I think I might.  But ugh- don’t know if it’s worth it.

I’m excited to just go.  I know my husband will struggle with it.  He asked when we’re leaving.  I started to answer and he said, so then, what, 8 hours in the car each day?  That’s not that much- what else…. blah blah blah blah what time blah blah where blah blah

And I looked at him with wide eyes and said: I DON’T KNOW!  I don’t care and it doesn’t matter – stop asking me these things.

I’ve made it clear that this is “my” trip and he’s just coming.  It’s a little bitchy.  I’m okay with that.  We have done too much crap his way, and yes, it works, and yes, it’s still fun, but this is going to be a whole new level of awesome.  At least for me.  And hopefully he survives.

*******

TV!

I must note, that we’ve been I think 8 days now with no tv and it has been beautiful.  Almost a non issue.  They still have their video game TV in the basement and I have one tv in my room for the Good Wife, but that is it.  No main floor tv-on-in-the-background “turn-off-the-tv” at dinner television.  It isn’t part of our life.

When I met my husband I had no tv.  He watched TV daily.  I hooked up a tv so we could watch tv at my place.  We got married, had some $100/month cable package.  Somehow I convinced him (?) to ditch cable.  Yet, the TV has always still been on.  The kids sit back and stare at it.  HE sits back and stares at it.  We would talk to each other while looking at the television.  There really is nothing good that comes of tv.  I mean, entertainment?  No point there.  To relax?  No point.  There are so many better things.  I am thrilled that at least THIS has come of our separation.  He would never budge on totally getting rid of the TV over the years.  Now, I have no tv and it is glorious.  Next purchase that he would  never allow: dog.

 

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