My husband doesn’t get why he needs to up the alpha. Up the manliness. Dress better, be more aggressive/assertive, etc. He doesn’t understand the purpose of running the map because I *already* desire him and want him sexually very much.

How do I convince him that these things would just make it that much BETTER?

He is extremely in shape and attractive physically but more muscles could always be enjoyed.
He dresses poorly. Bad jeans and tucked in shirts with lame belts and sweatshirts. I’ve tried to buy him nice shirts in the past but he never wears them because they don’t feel like “him.” He has this image of what a man is supposed to dress like and it is NOT HOT.
His lack of assertiveness with others is a big turn off.
Anything I complain about here any lack of alpha, it all “doesn’t matter” because I still want him in bed and am very satisfied with whatever he does (which is much, much better than nothing!)

So he questions what is the point of going out and spending money on different clothes that he can wear one or two (non work) days per week. What is the point of being less available, less… sweet, less beta, making me jealous- why do those things if the point of doing them is to increase my sexual interest…. when my sexual interest is already high?!

I am at a loss on how to convey this. All I can say is that it would make me “more” attracted to you.
He sees that I am already extremely attracted to him.
Sooooo……………..

The turn offs are such a turn off, yet when he initiates it, it all doesn’t matter- that is partly true. But my getting turned on sexually is sometimes a struggle… I don’t know. Just overall happiness.
I don’t know how to make him see it.

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