I was so hungover yesterday. I don’t normally drink to excess… I have twice in the past 2 months though… I was TRASHED beyond belief. Slept on bathroom floor kind of trashed. He took out my earrings, brought me crackers and water and covered me up on the bathroom floor Saturday night.

Sunday was just a wasted day. I couldn’t open my eyes until 2:00. He was being too beta. Too nice. I wanted him to keep it real with me and tell me YES you drank too much but he was coddling the shit out of me. I tried to tell him I was irresponsible and stupid and he was all just like “aw baby, what can I do for you…” Beta is NOT BAD but it must be evened out by some alpha. It was too much. I grew frustrated and got weird and he got weird.

I think he knew what I wanted (alpha) and he called me in to have sex with him after I put the baby to sleep. This was wonderful but he was EXTRA silent.

Again, annoyed.
Working on this. The night brought round 2 and it was GLORIOUS. He got back on his game… I told him how disappointed I am when he is silent and he really talked me through orgasm with barely anything physical. It was amazing…… he really can do it. He can do it all if he applies himself. He didn’t talk DIRTY dirty but he just TALKED. He talked about what he felt, what he saw, told me to look at him, my god it was awesome.

I wish it wasn’t so hard for him, I feel bad that I am “making” him go so so far outside of his comfort zone, but it is so worth it. It is for me, he says he likes it even though it is so hard… but it’s weird to really not know.