Anxious. Tomorrow begins normal life. Scouts twice a week, I’m going to boxing at least one night. 6 hours of after school gymnastics. I have my weekly girls night. He doesn’t do anything “for him” in the evenings but he goes to the gym every weekday morning before work. The evenings are nothing but high fives and running around. I see my husband for a few minutes for dinner together most nights and then again around 9 pm 4 out of 5 weeknights.

I know if I were MAPping this would all be normal and good to be busy with my own stuff but it feels unhealthy for our relationship. I want to give my time and attention to us, not to running the kids to gymnastics, scouts, running out to boxing and girls nights. But what can we cut out? Nothing. I’m not giving up my girls night. I need that shit.

I may end up giving up boxing, but I will be very sad. I feel it coming though. If somethings got to give, that will be the first to go.

His boss is in the hospital, so more responsibility and pressure on him- just a lot on our plates. Different from the easygoing days of school break and vacation in New York and stay home vacation time too. I hope it is okay. We have made some nice progress these past few weeks. Lots of ups and downs. Lots of 3 steps forward 1 or 2 back. But in the end, it is progress and I am thankful and receptive to his efforts. I hope it doesn’t all go downhill here.

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