Me, texting friend: my marriage imploded the other day. husband has whole other life that i don’t know about. prostitution websites, porn addiction, all while neglecting me and not wanting me for the past 10 years.

her: wow, what? that sucks.
her: you know though, it’s such a stress relief for men.

me: ok. i appreciate the effort but you have no idea what this is. i’m not angry at you but please seriously forget i even told you. i don’t want to talk about it any more at all.

her: you’re right. i’m sorry. i respect you.

me: that’s ok. so what are you up to this weekend.

AND SO IT GOES.
IT’S JUST MASTURBATING.

great. i’m a big fan of masturbating.
when one has a fulfilling sex life that includes TWO PEOPLE and is also masturbating from time to time, great. rock out with your cock out.
do it twice in a day every now and then. go wild when you’re travelling for business. but guess what. NOT SEEING ME, NOT WANTING ME, not giving me one SHRED of intimacy, physical, emotional, nothing. not seeing me for who i am, what i am, what i do, nothing.
no acknowledgement that i exist, as anything more than a friendly warm body to live with.
a best friend. a close sibling. great.

but it’s just jacking off, what’s the big deal?
it’s not like he had an affair.

GUESS WHAT.
if he had an affair it would in some ways be better and easier.
not all the way and not all around, but every infidelity has it’s own pros and cons. well, if there are any pros…. maybe there aren’t…. ((eyeroll.))

if it was a real person that he had a relationship with, we could deal with his emotions for THAT PERSON.
this isn’t a person. it’s that he is incapable of real intimacy. maybe paying for sex? still up in the air.
won’t know for at least a few weeks i imagine.

hurts.

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